The chapter about Elisabeth Noelle-Neumann's spiral of silence was the first chapter that I found myself enthralled with. Usually when I read a chapter I read a few pages, then take a break and finish the chapter later. This chapter I could not put the book down. I was amazed at this theory. I know that succumbing to peer pressure is easy but I never knew there was a theory about it. Mother Teresa is quoted on page 374, saying, "The worst sickness is not leprocy or tuberculosis, but the feeling of being respected by no one or being unloved, deserted by everyone." This quote explains why as humans we have a need to fit in. It is hard to be an outsider, This chapter made me think a lot about the times I have changed my mind or have agreed with a crowd even if I really believe differently. I grew up in the very strict Mormon church. In high school all my friends would go to parties and drink. I would sneak away to the parties with my friends and watch them drink. I never drank in high school because I knew I would get in trouble and it was almost guaranteed that my parents would find out. My friends always offered me drinks but instead of sticking to my principles and telling them no, I would fill my red cup with some soda and pretend like I was drinking. I feared being the odd man out so badly that I would go to great lengths to lie to my parents and to my friends.
I look back and think about the stupid things I did to fit in, but even today I surprised myself by heeding to public opinion. I was walking to a parking garage this morning when a homeless woman came up to me asking for money for breakfast. I had seen her ask the group of people in front of me for money as well, but no one gave her any. I did the same as the group of people in front of me. I said, "sorry", even though I had a pop tart and some ones in my purse. There was no reason for me not to help her, I wasn't even going to eat the pop tart. I think I said no because everyone else had said no too. I have been thinking about that all day. I think I will look for her next week and bring her some granola bars. Sometimes doing what everyone else is doing is easy to do but that never makes it the right thing to do.
integrating theory--dialogue
15 years ago
2 comments:
Hello,
Thanks for your detailed examples and the self disclosure about how you have followed the group rather than doing what you really want to do simply because you wanted to fit in.
Just know that you are not a bad person or anything for not helping the person - it is human nature to follow the crowd. I remember when I was in elementary school, all the girls would make fun of this girl named Elissa because she was heavier than everyone else. My little sister was heavier too and I knew how bad she would feel everyday - she would come home and cry everyday. I knew it didn't make Elissa feel very good, however I didnt ever stand up and tell the other kids to stop. I didnt join in because I knew how Elissa and her parents must have felt everyday after the constant ridicule by the other children since my sister Mona felt the same way. I always think back to that and think "poor girl, I should have stuck up for her..than maybe people would have stopped".
I found youre post quite interesting. I am in agreeence with Mollys comment; It is human nature. Its easier to follow anothers footsteps rather than creating your own. Its the fear of being differnt that scares people.I was always taught to speak up, however up until the beginning of college i did not. I was a follower as well. Once i got past the issue of what others would think, i started becomming myself and standing up for what i believe in. I only have about three friends from high school due to the fact the rest of them are to caught up in the party scene. They rather get drunk 4 nights out of the week rather than focus on school, work, or family life. Over the course of my life ive learned something that i will pass onto my son...Lifes to short to wonder what some person will think about you.
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